Sept 30 post

...how ironic! soooo fuckin' ironic! *lol*

*lol(laughing out loud)

another day

someone remarked
that you had only
brought me pain...
i quickly corrected them
that you had only
brought me joy...
and it was
the loss of this joy
that i interpreted
it as pain...
so much pain that it becomes almost...
unbearable.

Inner Wound

Pain. Embracing it until it becomes part of me...until it leaves me numb and...scarred.
Love. Intensified by the longing that I have kept...It will go on...indefinitely.

Journalists missing in Philippines

Leader Galib Andang, left, and members of the Abu Sayyaf rebel group. The group is responsible for hostage crises in the Philippines

Search on in area where Muslim rebels hold 21 hostages
May 13, 2000Web posted at: 12:45 p.m. EDT (1645 GMT)
In this story: Three newsmen returnNo release of sick hostagesGovernment troops track rebelsRELATED STORIES, SITES
JOLO, Philippines -- Nine journalists, most of them from French television, were reported missing on Saturday from the same region where Philippine Muslim rebels are holding 21 people hostage.

RESOURCES
TIME: Trouble in ParadiseAsiaweek: A Religious War Comes to ParadiseAsiaweek: Abu Sayyaf's short but violent history
As the search for the journalists got under way, rebels demanded that government troops be pulled out of the area before any negotiations for the release of hostages could begin.
In addition to demanding that the Philippine military be kept out, Abu Sayyaf rebels said they would speak only with four specific negotiators.
They named: Libyan envoy Rajab Azzarouq, who previously has been in discussions with the rebels; Philippine government negotiator and Islamic scholar Ustadz Ghazali; an unnamed Muslim cleric, and an unnamed former Muslim rebel.
They said they would be willing to begin a two- to three-day negotiating session and present detailed demands if these preliminary conditions are met.
Three newsmen return
A dozen journalists were initially feared missing from the jungle-covered hills where Abu Sayyaf is holding the hostages.
But three newsmen returned to the town of Jolo on Saturday evening, saying they had gone out for a drive. They did not know where the other nine were.
Two vans used by the journalists were recovered in the early evening, but with no sign of either the drivers or journalists, police said.
"There are three accounted for. There are nine still missing," said Sulu provincial Police Chief Candido Casimiro, who added the police had been alerted to search for them.
Casimiro said the journalists ignored instructions from the police that they should not leave Jolo.
The missing journalists include workers from French television channels TF1 and France 2; one employee of Agence France-Presse and a Filipino, Frederick Alvarez.
No release of sick hostages

The disappearance of the journalists coincided with the failure of a four-man team to negotiate the release of two ailing European hostages being held by the fundamentalist Abu Sayyaf rebels.
Early optimism that the rebels would release a 57-year-old German woman reported to be critically ill and a French man were destroyed when the rebels instead discussed procedural arrangements for formal negotiations.
Negotiator Robert Aventajado said the condition of the German woman, Renate Wallert, has improved and her high blood pressure has stabilized.
The group has been holding 21 hostages, the majority of them non-Filipinos, for three weeks. It has also held at least eight Filipinos, mostly schoolchildren, hostage for two months on Basilan Island, near Jolo.
Officials said the only encouraging development was that the Abu Sayyaf rebels had for the first time said they would issue a formal list of demands once negotiations begin.
The government has already rejected their informal demands for regional independence and the establishment of Islamic law.
The hostages --- three Germans, two French citizens, two South Africans. two Finns, a Lebanese, nine Malaysians and two Filipinos -- were kidnapped on April 23 from Malaysia's Sipadan Island and taken to Jolo, an island at the tip of the southern Philippines about one hour away.
Government troops track rebels
Four hundred kilometers away to the north, another hostage situation emerged with reports that about 1,000 separatist rebels took at least 40 villagers hostage.
The Moro Islamic Liberation Front guerillas arrived at Pamantigan village in Esperanza town in the Sultan Kudarat province of the Philippines.
They woke the villagers with gunfire at about 4 a.m. and demanded food before escaping , taking hostages as they ran from government troops.
The government troops clashed with the rebels seven hours later and at least two helicopters fired at the retreating guerrillas, Army Capt. Noel Detoyato, a spokesman for the 6th Infantry Division, said.
Nearby villages were evacuated as residents fled the crossfire.
The Moro group is fighting for an independent Islamic state in the southern Philippines. It was the first time that Moro rebels have been reported in the province, although clashes were reported from north of the province when Moro guerrillas briefly occupied the town of Kauswagan in Lanao del Norte province.

*** me and my life as a reckless vagabond - rikki
author's note:
Frederick Alvarez also known as Rikki is now working as an OUTBOUND SALES AGENT for RMH Teleservices Asia-Pacific (Account: VONAGE). Pity him.May his reckless soul rest in his station. Just kidding! He's a good friend.

Senti 101 (Mga Walang Kwentang Bagay na Naiisip Ko Bago Ako Matulog)

Darating ang panahon na hahanapin pa rin kita...na gugustuhin ko pa ring makita ka, makasama, maramdaman. Mangangarap pa rin akong maging bahagi ng buhay mo, sa pinakamainam na paraan at saglit...

Still Frames

I woke up in the morning
to the silent sounds of raindrops
caressing the window
I pulled the curtain to greet the morning
But a mist covered the window
Without thinking I took my finger
And wrote your name in the moisture.

Now, it was time to prepare
To face another day
For some reason
Just before living
I returned to the bedroom
To look once more at your name
But it, too --
was gone.


It was almost midnight and I still had to go to work in an hour. I wanted to watch a show on TV, a show that he couldn't possibly care about. I convinced him to sleep on the couch, while I watched, assuring him that I'd wake him up when it's time for me to leave. I ended up watching him sleep, instead.

I do not know how long I had been staring at him before I realized that I was. He looked so at peace and yet so vulnerable. For once I could look at him for so long without him asking me what the matter was. I could just sit there, look at him and try to figure out why I was never happy when I was with anybody else. I never realized until then how much I missed him.

I wanted to wake him up so that I could look into his eyes again. I wanted to make him pout and see him smile afterwards. I wanted to hear his laughter, his low soft voice that lately seemed to be as beautiful as a song. I wanted to tell him how badly I missed him since the last time we kissed, and how happy I was that I was able to spend the weekend with him eventhough I know, things would never be the same again after that. I wanted to tell him how I REALLY felt for him, how I had wished to be a part of his life, of his dreams. And for once in my life, I looked into the future with more enthusiasm eventhough for him, there could never be any future for the two of us.

But of course, I didn't. I just sat there, holding him and watching him sleep for hours. I couldn't have possibly spoiled such a magnificent moment. It was so perfect. At that time, nobody could have convinced me there was something or somebody more precious than him (other than my little girl of course) . I would always remember the look on his face when our eyes first met, the burning passion in his eyes when we spent our first weekend together. That one rainy afternoon. I could never forget the smile that could promise you millions of beautiful things. But as quickly as it had come, it was gone...

It is quite ironic that I would remember him so well in a state of slumber for he had so much passion for life. He could tell you jokes and bloopers and make you laugh. He would get excited about something very trivial. He would say ordinary words and phrases in an accentuated way, and you would be saying it was the way he was. He would be enraged if you leave food on your plate and would always say his familiar line-- "Maraming tao ang nagugutom..." He was always aware of his rights and would fight for it if circumstances arise. And just when you thought he'd done it all, he would show you his 7-alibata character tattoo on his back (which the meaning, he had never disclosed).

That night was not the last time I saw him, but it might as well been. Much I try to convinced myself that everything would be fine, I know that it would take time for me to pick up the pieces again once the moment is over. I was always reminded of this everytime I was out doing something with him, everytime I put my arms around him, everytime I kissed him goodbye. I tried to act the same way, the only way he knows me to act around him. I could crack jokes and make him laugh. I could tease him and you would see the naughty smile on his face. I could tell him one of my anecdotes, and he would wonder what that was all about. I could try to put a smiling face whenever I looked at him, making as if it didn't kill me to know, his heart belongs to someone else.

Kung Ibig Mo Akong Makilala

It was my second year in the university when I was first bewitched by the enchanting voice of Susan Fernandez-Magno. Since then, until this day, I have been trying so hard to emulate the style, the voice, the melody,but alas, i have not succeeded as of yet.Well, at least, somebody would utter words like "Syet! Sinong diwata ang kumakanta?!" once he hears me hum the soulful melody.

Then, I had the privelege to listen to the song again when I dropped to Tops' place, a dear friend of mine, to snatch some DVDs (which I have not returned until today). For an instant, I felt the familiar collision ot frustration, serenity, happiness, and grief when I first listened to her music emanating from an almost busted casette player way back in college. Without any hesitation, Tops started to strum some tunes from his guitar while I sung a few lines. Indeed, I need more diagphram vocalization. But I'm there, almost.

***Every word of the song enfolds mystery and enigma which I find quite impossible to unravel or decipher if you're a typical person who's not into metaphors and stuffs like that. But if you would only have the chance to hear the music, it would be quite impossible, as well, not to appreciate it.

Kudos to Susan Fernandez-Magno!

Kung Ibig mo Akong Makilala
Susan Fernandez-Magno

Kung ibig mo akong makilala
Lampasan mo ang guhit ng mahugis na balat
Ang titik ko, ang dagat yapos kang mahigpit
Sabawat bawat saglit.

Kung ibig mo akong makilala
Sunduin mo ako sa himlayang dilim
Sa madlang pagsukol ng inunamng hilahil
Ibangon ako at saka palayain.

Kung ibig mo akong kilalalnin
Sisirin mo ako hanggang buto
Liparin mo ako hanggang utak
Umilanglang ka hanggang kaluluwa
Hubad ako ruon mula ulo hanggang paa.

Isang pag-ibig na lipos ng lingap
Tahanang malaya sa pangamba at sumbat
May___ at ang tuwa at luwalhati
Iaalay mong lahat ito sa akin…

Kung ibig mo(3x) akong makilala.

Immortal Poems of Maria Jose Ybbieta

...kung ihahalintulad ko ang mga tula mo sa paglubog ng mapulang araw, iisipin kong isa ka ngang imortal... --isabella gabriel vizon

Parasal
Maria Jose Ybbietta

Alam mo...
Kung may pluma lang ako,
ay naililok ko na ang
talasalitaang nag-uugnay sa ating
dalawa
mga pangungusap...
mga pariralang
malihim mang sumilong
sa lilim ng talinhaga ay kagyat
nating naiintindihan ang
kahulugan...
ang ipinadarama.

Kung may pluma lang ako
naiguhit ko na sana sa mga
saknong
ng pinakamalalayang tula
ang mga eksenang kasama ka...
tungkol sa iyong ngiting
nagpakilala sa aking ikaw pala'y
masayahin...malalim...
marahas.

Sana'y nakahabi na ako ng
kalatas na yari sa dahon ng mirasol.

Mga liham na ating
tulay para sa patuloy nating
komunikasyon at
pagmamahalan sa kabila ng
milya-milya nating pagitan sa isa't isa.

Subalit ang katotohana'y
wala akong pluma.
Sinadya kong iwala ito matapos
mong sabihing
hindi mo na ako mahal.